The non list

It’s just over a week until my birthday and I realised today that there is nothing that I want.  Well that’s not strictly true in that there are a large number of things which I would I would happily accept if they turned up on my doorstep but nothing that I want enough to ask for it.

I haven’t needed anything for a long while,  I have everything I need and a lot more, but that hasn’t stopped me yearning for things.  Cashmere socks are a particular favourite,  in fact cashmere anything has been on my wanted list for many years.  But I have two pairs of lovely cashmere socks, I have a cashmere wrap, cashmere fingerless gloves (the latter two make the perfect working in a cold house outfit) and any  number of cashmere jumpers and cardigans.  I don’t need anymore.

But it’s not the not needing that has surprised me,  I have known I didn’t need anything for a long time.   It’s the not wanting,  I really don’t want anything in particular.

During Lent I stopped buying anything but essentials.  Friends mocked and suggested I could make anything an essential if I put my mind to it.  Indeed I could, but I didn’t.  Partly because I didn’t want to prove them right, but partly because I needed to see if I could do it.  It was surprisingly easy.

Before the internet if I wanted to go shopping I had to get in  my car and drive  to Durham, which is not a shoppers’ paradise, or head further afield to York or Newcastle.  Now I can buy almost anything I want from my kitchen table.  There is less effort and less thought.  Not shopping for Lent forced me to think before I made every purchase and for the most part I didn’t buy.

After Lent I started to fall back into my old ways,  although I did notice that I had become far more discerning and put things back down far more often (other than perhaps stationery!).  Perhaps the Lenten experience affected me more than I realised for all I really want for my birthday is to have a lovely day with my family.  Priceless but free.
BTW One of the suggested tags by WordPress for this post was “Mongolian Language”  anybody care to suggest where that came from?

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One response to “The non list

  1. it is interesting isn’t it? When I first decided to work for myself, I spent the year before practicing at living on a reduced budget. I made myself live on 50% of my salary, so that I could save the other 50%, which gave me a year to get the business going, if I couldn’t take a salary during that time.

    So nothing that wasn’t truly essential was bought. It was surprising how I got used to questioning if I needed something, and now, 12 years down the line, I still do that, and like you, find that as time goes on, I want less and less as well.

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