The non list

It’s just over a week until my birthday and I realised today that there is nothing that I want.  Well that’s not strictly true in that there are a large number of things which I would I would happily accept if they turned up on my doorstep but nothing that I want enough to ask for it.

I haven’t needed anything for a long while,  I have everything I need and a lot more, but that hasn’t stopped me yearning for things.  Cashmere socks are a particular favourite,  in fact cashmere anything has been on my wanted list for many years.  But I have two pairs of lovely cashmere socks, I have a cashmere wrap, cashmere fingerless gloves (the latter two make the perfect working in a cold house outfit) and any  number of cashmere jumpers and cardigans.  I don’t need anymore.

But it’s not the not needing that has surprised me,  I have known I didn’t need anything for a long time.   It’s the not wanting,  I really don’t want anything in particular.

During Lent I stopped buying anything but essentials.  Friends mocked and suggested I could make anything an essential if I put my mind to it.  Indeed I could, but I didn’t.  Partly because I didn’t want to prove them right, but partly because I needed to see if I could do it.  It was surprisingly easy.

Before the internet if I wanted to go shopping I had to get in  my car and drive  to Durham, which is not a shoppers’ paradise, or head further afield to York or Newcastle.  Now I can buy almost anything I want from my kitchen table.  There is less effort and less thought.  Not shopping for Lent forced me to think before I made every purchase and for the most part I didn’t buy.

After Lent I started to fall back into my old ways,  although I did notice that I had become far more discerning and put things back down far more often (other than perhaps stationery!).  Perhaps the Lenten experience affected me more than I realised for all I really want for my birthday is to have a lovely day with my family.  Priceless but free.
BTW One of the suggested tags by WordPress for this post was “Mongolian Language”  anybody care to suggest where that came from?


One response to “The non list

  1. it is interesting isn’t it? When I first decided to work for myself, I spent the year before practicing at living on a reduced budget. I made myself live on 50% of my salary, so that I could save the other 50%, which gave me a year to get the business going, if I couldn’t take a salary during that time.

    So nothing that wasn’t truly essential was bought. It was surprising how I got used to questioning if I needed something, and now, 12 years down the line, I still do that, and like you, find that as time goes on, I want less and less as well.

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