It’s just over a week until my birthday and I realised today that there is nothing that I want. Well that’s not strictly true in that there are a large number of things which I would I would happily accept if they turned up on my doorstep but nothing that I want enough to ask for it.
I haven’t needed anything for a long while, I have everything I need and a lot more, but that hasn’t stopped me yearning for things. Cashmere socks are a particular favourite, in fact cashmere anything has been on my wanted list for many years. But I have two pairs of lovely cashmere socks, I have a cashmere wrap, cashmere fingerless gloves (the latter two make the perfect working in a cold house outfit) and any number of cashmere jumpers and cardigans. I don’t need anymore.
But it’s not the not needing that has surprised me, I have known I didn’t need anything for a long time. It’s the not wanting, I really don’t want anything in particular.
During Lent I stopped buying anything but essentials. Friends mocked and suggested I could make anything an essential if I put my mind to it. Indeed I could, but I didn’t. Partly because I didn’t want to prove them right, but partly because I needed to see if I could do it. It was surprisingly easy.
Before the internet if I wanted to go shopping I had to get in my car and drive to Durham, which is not a shoppers’ paradise, or head further afield to York or Newcastle. Now I can buy almost anything I want from my kitchen table. There is less effort and less thought. Not shopping for Lent forced me to think before I made every purchase and for the most part I didn’t buy.
After Lent I started to fall back into my old ways, although I did notice that I had become far more discerning and put things back down far more often (other than perhaps stationery!). Perhaps the Lenten experience affected me more than I realised for all I really want for my birthday is to have a lovely day with my family. Priceless but free.
BTW One of the suggested tags by WordPress for this post was “Mongolian Language” anybody care to suggest where that came from?